Well, it's getting down to the wire now. I am - please g-d - 8 days away from my due date. How insane is that? I try not to think about it too much but it's impossible. Every second I'm not working, I'm thinking about the baby. And not just labor, but breastfeeding and baby clothing and baby gear, etc.
I was watching an episode of Alias yesterday and Marshall, the quirky little computer geek, saves the World and then comes home to a wife and baby waiting for him by the living room window. It brought me to tears, literally. Just thinking that, P"G, that could be me in a few days! I told Pidgeon about the episode and he got excited too when I told him that I can't wait until P"G "we" will be waiting for him to come home from work.
Yesterday was extremely busy. Between work and some car drama, I was literally on and off my feet nonstop. By the time the 11:00 p.m. shot rolled around, tears of exhaustion were rolling down my face and I just wanted to get under the covers and go to sleep. I don't remember the last time I passed out before 11:30 p.m. but we both really, really needed the sleep.
This morning, I got up with Pidgeon and packed his lunch and breakfast. After he left the house, I did the dishes that had accumulated overnight and tidied up a bit in the apartment. Afterwards, I decided to try to get some sleep. Unfortunately, my friend had other plans for me and she called about 45 minutes after I went to bed. That got be up and moving, as I had to cook dinner for Pidgeon's cousins. They just had their baby and I promised I would cook for them. So, I made all the fresh stuff this afternoon - spaghetti with olive oil and salt and fresh corn with olive oil margarine and salt. The joins the chicken fingers I fried last week and the batch of sweet and sour meatballs I made a few weeks ago. Since I spent the afternoon yesterday baking my Aunt Irene's (Z"L) chocolate chip cookies, I put the batch into a tin and sealed it up for them.
Feeling very accomplished, I decided to step into the shower before the folks in the States wake up and I have to get to work. As soon as I stepped out, I hear the doorbell ringing. I thought it was a mistake but I made my way to the intercom. Sure enough, it was a package for us and that's when I remembered that the stem cell company was sending us all the stuff we needed.
So, I was really on the fence about cord blood banking for stem cells. It is EXTREMELY expensive to do in Israel. And, our insurance only gives us a 700 shekel discount. Well, we discuss it at length and we fielded phone call after phone call from cord blood banks and then we sat down to talk money. In terms of shekel, we just didn't have it. We didn't have that kind of money in our checking account. We also didn't want to ask our parents, as mine as paying for Dr. Yanai and Pidgeon's parents are basically paying for all the nursery furniture and a night nurse. We felt that they are tapped out and didn't want to ask them for any more since they're already being generous.
And then we decided to invest some of our wedding money. We got a few dollars as wedding presents and, since a lot of our Israeli guests were so generous, we didn't have to invest any of it on things for the apartment. We were able to B"H bank the money in savings and had earmarked it to help us buy a home one day. But then we got to thinking that, if G-d forbid Hot Dog got ill and the cord blood could save the baby's life, we would kick ourselves for not investing the money. So, two days ago, we agreed to do it and today the kit arrived.
I didn't open the box, as I have no idea if it's sterile or what, and would prefer just handing everything over to the Dr. when I'm in labor. I'm sure the staff at Hadassah Ein Karem are familiar with this and will know what to do. Besides, I didn't want Pidgeon to cut the cord anyway, so it's good to let the Dr. take care of it.
My Mom called this morning all excited. She feels like now everything is really "happening" and she wanted to know how I'm feeling. Well, if you would have called me at 2:30 this morning I would have told you I was in labor. But then, I went back to sleep, and haven't had a contraction since.
Honestly, I don't know how I'm feeling. Physically, I feel okay. I have constant heartburn that's annoying and when I walk, the baby is really pressing down on my bladder so I feel like I'm going to make all over the floor. But, other than that, I feel just like I felt 2 weeks ago.
I'm trying very hard not to fear the unknown - or the pain. Yesterday, I burnt myself when I took a batch of cookies out of the oven. I decided to sit with the pain to see how bad it was and whether or not I could withstand it. It wasn't easy but it was a mind game and - after a few minutes of blowing on it and watching the red streak get redder and redder - I decided to just go about my day. Unfortunately, I now have a mark but I was able to handle the pain.
I'm hoping that I'll be able to use whatever will power or mind games I have at my disposal to withstand the pain of childbirth. Ideally, I'd like to try to avoid any medications they want to try to give me to dull the pain. Unless g-d forbid an emergency C-section needs to be performed, I want to try to do this the natural way.
May the Lord have mercy on me and let me have an easy delivery!
Well, I'm off to blow dry my hair and then get back to work.
Erev Tov from Baka!
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