Moonshining

They say that if a pregnant woman, in her 9th month, eats an etrog it's a segulah for an easy birth. So, my dining room table is now littered with etrogim from the holiday and I'm getting ready to go out and pick up a couple of bottles of vodka. With plenty of sugar and at least 6 week fermentation, I should have some good etrog liquor. Granted, I'm due well before 6 weeks time, but I can always sneak a few sips here and there in the middle of the fermentation process.

I am so happy that the Chagim are over and, as enjoyable as most of it was, I'm looking forward to moving on with the year. I should be taking down the decorations today but I'm fighting to stay awake to update the blog before I plan on trying to take a quick nap. The second part of Yom Tov was definitely not as fun as the first part.

Shabbat Chol Hamoed started out really, really great. Pidgeon and I had a lot of fun just being the two of us, and I love eating in the Succah over the Chag. It was very, very hot though on Shabbos day and I was sweating a ton in the Succah. We also didn't have the AC on so it was pretty hot in the apartment too. I managed to take a nap though and when I woke up, was feeling anything but refreshed.

The baby suddenly felt very heavy in my stomach. I tried to wake it up by jiggling but nothing. So, I got out of bed and went into the kitchen to cut up some fruit. I made a plate for Pidgeon and together we ate some fruit. I thought the sugar would wake the baby but again, I felt nothing. Concerned, I decided to dig into a huge piece of chocolate tart that I had left over from the first days of Yom Tov. At this point, normally, the baby would be going wild inside of me. And still, nothing. Not even a movement.

That's when I started really freaking out. Shabbos was over in 10 minutes so I put my feet up and waited for Pidgeon to daven before we called his Mom. She told us to go to Shaarei Zedek immediately. So, we got dressed, grabbed all my medical paperwork, and drove to Shaarei Zedek. Pidgeon's Mom met us there and we went to the 9th floor where a midwife took my vitals and told me to try to relax. I was in the middle of a panic attack so relaxing wasn't really going to happy. My blood pressure was very, very high, so she immediately put me in an area and hooked me up to the baby monitor.

I was relieved when we heard the baby heartbeat and the midwife, concerned about my blood pressure, told Pidgeon and his Mom that they had to sit outside so I could have some "Mommy and baby time". She thought that would relax me - it did the complete opposite. I still could NOT feel the baby moving, even though I could hear the heart beat, and my panic attack worsened. I started sweating through everything and I felt like I was going to throw up, but they had closed the curtain and the garbage pail was out of my reach. I started crying, I hated being alone, hated not being able to feel the baby, and all I wanted was Pidgeon to come and help me. About 30 minutes passed and the nausea was getting much worse, until finally a Dr. came in to do an ultrasound. It was amazing to see the baby moving on the ultrasound but still I couldn't feel a thing. 

The Dr. said it was a number of reasons, one being that she moved (although not, unfortunately, out of breech position) and between lack of space, all that amniotic fluid, an anterior placenta and ALL MY FAT (I swear she said that), it was no surprise that I couldn't feel the baby as strongly as I had.

Bullshit.

This baby is super active and I have felt it moving and punching and swimming very, very clearly. But, in this new position, there wasn't as much room to manuever so I need now to learn what's normal movement for the baby.

Anyway, they wouldn't let me leave until I was confident that I felt the baby. But, I wanted out of that room, away from all the women in labor and with Pidgeon and his Mom. So, they let me sit outside with them both until I was confident that I felt the baby. We were there for over an hour before I felt 3 swift kicks. At which point, I got my discharge papers and was out the door as fast as I could! I was wiped and emotionally drained. I thought I could just come home, relax and calm down.

Unfortunately, Pidgeon had other plans for me. About an hour after we got home, Pidgeon got sick. I mean, really, really sick. It turns out, he somehow caught a stomach virus, and we were up all night together. At 6:00 a.m., he finally felt well enough to try to get some sleep, and I passed out next to him. I couldn't believe we had all this drama - back to back - in one night.

Sunday, we were supposed to go to a Pideon HaBen in the morning and a family Succah party in Beit Shemesh at night. But, we were at the Dr's office first thing and she diagnosed Pidgeon with a highly contagious stomach virus and made sure that everything was okay with me (i.e. my blood pressure had returned to normal). By the time we finished with the Dr.'s, we were both so exhausted that we just got back home and crashed. But, Pidgeon was finally really hungry and we had an errand to run in town. So, we made the HUGE mistake of going to Cafe Rimon Dairy for something to eat. We had no problem getting a seat and the service was fine, but towards the end of our meal an American family with 2 teenage sons and 3 year old twin daughters sat down at the table next to us. The father decided to park the double stroller right next to my seat, thus blocking the pathway for the waitresss and anyone else that needed to pass. We finished our meal, paid the check, and then got up to leave. I couldn't get out as the stroller was in my path. The man saw me struggling and, rather than just get up and move the stroller out of the way, he said "it's better for you to go around" and pointed around the restaurant. 

Now people, had he moved his stroller, it would have been a straight shot out of the restaurant since we were sitting on the periphery. But, he was indicating that we basically weave our way in the opposite direction until we can get out. Well, I was PISSED off. But, I have a problem with being assertive and, I tend to end up aggressive and since I didn't want to start a fight, I decided to be passive aggressive. 

I started bitching and moaning and saying to Pidgeon "Oh, it's BETTER for me that I should shove my way through these table." Whack, my stomach hits some poor lady in the head. "Oh yeah, it's BETTER for me to hit this nice lady in the head with my stomach". I continued as I tried to squeeze my way between tables. At this point, the guy decides now's a good time to stop being a lazy ass and move the stroller (granted, we're at the other side of the table now). And his WIFE, who has been pregnant at least 3 times, says to him "don't worry, sit down, she'll be fine."

The insensitivity of people! I left feeling very frustrated and pissed off that they had the nerve to be so rude. I vowed to learn the proper way of being assertive without being aggressive so that I'm never in this situation again. As you can imagine, by the time we got home on Sunday, we needed to spend the rest of the day just taking it easy.

Monday was a short whirlwind of a day. Pidgeon went to shul with his Dad for Hoshana Rabah and then we joined his family for a big breakfast in the Succah. Afterward, we ran some errands for them before Simchat Torah and Pidgeon went to Orange to deal with his cell phone problems. I spent an hour waiting for him in the car while he dealt with Orange. It wasn't fun. We got home with barely enough time for me to do some work, shower, pack and get dressed before we moved in with his folks for the Chag.

The second day of Yom Tov was a lot of fun and FULL of family and friends. I made it to shul Simchat Torah night and watched as Pidgeon got his Hakafah. We were in the downstairs Minyan at Chovevei and my Father-in-law brought my nieces and nephews some candy bags. My nephew ripped into his and ate all the stuff he liked right away, and then left us holding the bag so he could run around and dance with the men. There were a lot of Americans at the minyan and pretty soon, some women came into the women's section and moved chairs around so they could dance. I'm not one for dancing on Simchat Torah - and especially not 9 months pregnant - so I stayed in my seat and kept watching. Suddenly, an older Anglo gentleman approached the Mechizah and said "I can't take this anymore" and took my nephew's candy bag. I was pretty shocked and didn't know what to say, until I saw him trying to divy out the candy amongst his grandchildren. This was where my new assertiveness comes in, but I was at a loss for words! 

Fortunately, his daughter/daughter-in-law saw my face (she was in the woman's section) and told him that it wasn't his to take and he had to give it back. He threw is back at me and I told him that I didn't think my nephew would appreciate him stealing his candy. He made a face and then walked away.

Chutzpah!

I couldn't wait for the Chag to be over, so I could just get back to some sort of routine. We spent the day with family and friends and then, once it was all over, Pidgeon and I decided not to go home. They have Hakafot Shniyot with LOUD music by our apartment, so we decided to stay at his folks another night. We did go to Aldo on Emek Refaim and picked up 2 movies from Videon. We were planning a quiet night watching movies and relaxing at home.

Well, I have NO idea what was in that ice cream, but by the second movie I wasn't feeling so great. Pidgeon was also feeling nasty and we couldn't believe we were sick again. At Midnight, I started throwing up again and it wouldn't stop. Fortunately, Pidgeon's Mom knew what to do and sent him back to our apartment to pick up my Pramin. I was a dishrag by the time he got back with the medication but at least it stopped my throwing up. Then, Pidgeon felt terrible that he ended up in another toilet in the house. We both dragged ourselves to bed at 2:30 a.m. and I said I was done with food.

We spent the day yesterday trying to figure out what the heck happened the night before. Because we were both so weak and exhausted, we left the Succah up and went about our day. We both had appointments out of the area and I practically fell asleep waiting for my hematologist to show up. Fortunately, the meeting was quick, and we were back home and relaxing in no time. I have a ton of backlogged work to catch up on and managed to do some of it while Pidgeon was out. I made us a quick salmon and salad dinner and we were asleep 2 hours earlier than normal.

Today, I'm hoping to still take it a bit easy but don't know how that will pan out. I have a SuperSol delivery coming in the afternoon and the Kablan coming to look at the leak in our bathtub. We also have our last childbirth education class tonight and supposedly it's some birth video. Just what Pidgeon is looking forward to doing tonight!

Well, I'm off to try to take a quick nap before I really have to get my day going. Hope everyone had a wonderful Chag!

Yom Tov from Baka!

It's Complicated

Just call me Puff Fatty. I have no idea what happened but, seemingly overnight on Monday, I went from pregnant to puffy. I put on 3 pounds in less than 12 hours, my legs resemble tree trunks (pine, not oak) and my face was absolutely huge. It was a bit terrifying, so I went online to find out what the heck was going on.

It looks like I'm suffering from a typical pregnancy symptom called edema. Which, basically, is the swelling of the extremities. The blood pools around the legs and ankles and, depending on diet, your feet and hands can swell too. For the first time in a long time, I wasn't able to take off my rings. That made washing for bread a bit difficult, but I remembered learning a long time ago that people who wear rings every single day on the same fingers don't necessarily have to take them off to wash because it's not considered a Chatzizah as it has become almost a part of the body. Wish I could remember where I learned that - or if it's even true - but I figured why bother asking a Rabbi when I can just paskin myself.

And, depending on the reason why you're puffy, the "solution" varies. I think it had to do with the fact that we spent majority of Monday in a car. So, I made every effort to get the blood circulating by doing lots of errands in the house, getting up from my seated position, elevating my feet when I was on the couch or on the chair, etc. I also drank a TON of water, which I actually do normally every day (I have always been a big water drinker) and decided to not add any extra salt to my food. Then, around 8:00 p.m., I laced on my walking sandals and Pidgeon and I decided to go for a walk.

It felt so great to just be outdoors, in the cool Jerusalem night air, moving. It felt good to just really move, at a normal pace for my belly bump. We, of course, had no destination when we left the house so Pidgeon offered to take me to Emek Refaim and "buy me a treat". Well, I'm like a 4 year old when I hear the word "treat" and started imagining all the yummy goodness he could buy me. Which, sadly, defeats the purpose of a healthy walk if I end up eating some high caloric ice cream (which was what I was craving).

Well, fortunately for me, we ended up at this impromptu flea market down the block from Burgers Bar. Now, it's the 9 days, so I felt bad about buying but figured that it was okay if I really found something nice. There were a lot of jewelry tables set up, but I didn't really see anything in particular that I like. I'm actually obsessed with earrings that Britney Gastineau wears on The Gastineau Girls so I was looking for similar earrings and didn't find anything. But then, we came upon this really cool table with beaded wired animals. The artist made all these animals out of wires and then "colored them in" using different beads. There was this really cool cobra that stretched clear across the table, two beautiful red crabs and lobsters, some scorpions, a black and white lamb, etc. Well, I have had a turtle fetish ever since I inherited my first and only pet Turtle, Angus

There was a small, purple turtle that was really pretty already out on the table, but I kinda like my turtles green. So, Pidgeon asked the woman running the booth about a green turtle, and sure enough there was a beautiful green turtle with red eyes, just waiting for me. That was just the treat I was looking for! So, Pidgeon bought it for me and they wrapped it up in a really nice paper and we headed home. I figured, one good treat deserves another, so we stopped off at this new frozen yogurt store sandwiched between Tal Bagels and Aldo Ice Cream. We samples the yogurt (it tasted like frozen yogurt with a bit of an after taste kick) and Pidgeon got himself a fruit juice smoothie and I just abstained. We walked home with our treats and realized, when we got through the door, that the excursion took us more than an hour! Perfect amount of time for me to be on my feet.

I rested a bit and then decided to get started on dinner. I had found Alaskian frozen pollack the other day, and in my mind thought it would be a good fish to bread and fry like shnitzel. So, I got to work on breading and frying and imagined a great dinner of pollack shnitzel with some leftover quinoa and roasted curried cauliflower. Well, I don't know if it was the fish or my crappy non-stick frying pan, but what I ended up with was basically little fried fish bits and fried breading. It looked absolutely nasty, like a bomb exploded all my fillets. But, Pidgeon insisted that it would taste great, so I just spooned out some quinoa and topped it with the fish bits.

It actually tasted okay, it just wasn't as aesthetically pleasing as I had hoped. We finished dinner in time for a rerun of How I Met Your Mother in Hot Stars and decided to relax for the rest of the night.

Meanwhile, we've been trying to join the online shopping group of CityDirect. Any New Yorkers reading this will think immediately of Fresh Direct except CityDirect is more like a hybrid between Fresh Direct and Urban Fetch.

Ah, Urban Fetch. I freaking LOVED Urban Fetch when I lived on the Lower East Side. I would order movies, pints of Ben and Jerry's, cold medicine when I was sick, cigarettes and once I bought a big box of glow in the dark condoms. I don't know why I did it, I never used them, didn't even have a remote reason to think I would need them, but I wanted to see what would happen if I bought them. Nothing happened, the delivery man brought them with all the other stuff I ordered, and I kept them in the back of my underwear drawer. Fortunately, my 90 year old Grandfather (at the time when we lived together and I was all about the Urban Fetch) never found them, and I tossed them out when I moved to the Upper West Side a couple of years later.

But, I digress.

So, we've been trying to become members of City Direct so we could order our groceries online. Now, fortunately, we're at a position right now when we can actually find time to go to the grocery store, but figured this would come in handy P"G when the baby comes and we both just can't get out. Plus, I already order my fruits and vegetables from our local green grocer, so figured why not get everything else online.

We had some problems setting things up, but then Reut the most amazing Customer Service representative in ALL the land, called and walked us through the process.

Now, I love online shopping and I love food shopping, and this just combines my two passions. I literally spent an entire hour just putting together our food shopping list for delivery this afternoon. I didn't order any of the fruits or vegetables from the shuk, but was VERY happy to see that you could order baked goods from Marzipan. The great thing about this was that I was able to find items I didn't even know existed, like whole wheat puffed pastry, and a cheaper brand of edemame. I kept the list pretty small, just what we need for the next few days, just to try it out. The best part was that I knew, before even placing the order, how much money I had already spent. For people like us, who are on very strict budgets, that was just brilliant. This way, I knew what I could and couldn't afford, and even decided to get rid of certain items this month because I didn't really need them.

I was a bit perplexed when the site didn't ask me for payment information, but I was so caught up on the site that I forgot about my shot and was late getting the icing process started. We went to bed and I figured I would call Reut in the morning to check it out.

We slept in a bit, which was nice for me since I was so tired last night, and I called Reut to ask about payment information. Turns out, after the delivery and once they know we're satisfied, a customer service representative calls and asks for credit card information. That's fabulous! Now I know that I don't have my credit card information on their servers, which makes me very happy. She called me again a few minutes later to tell me that some items weren't available, or the brand I wanted was available but they had a different brand instead, and I was very happy with that. And, within minutes of hanging up, my delivery was here.

The delivery guy was very nice, he unpacked the groceries for me out on my kitchen counter, and I gave him a little tip and he was on his way. It was just a pleasure, and I'm looking forward to P"G using this service again.

Meanwhile, I've spent my morning watching four back to back episodes of Denise Richards: It's Complicated. I gotta say, it's pretty addicting, and I'm all about the E! programming these days. I have about 6 more episodes to catch up on, but I'm thinking there's more drama to come and it's very entertaining!

Well, Pidgeon just got back from his morning out, so I'm going to go and try to figure out what's for lunch.

Yom Tov from Baka!

Under Construction

No worries - the site isn't under construction - just our apartment. Tomorrow morning, the AC/Heating unit guy will be coming to P"G finally fix our unit! I'm so excited, even though the place will be a huge mess, because this should at least provide us much needed AC during the extreme heat of an Israel summer. I just hope they don't make too much of a mess, cause I'm not ready for a heavy duty cleaning on top of a Pesach cleaning!

This afternoon, one of Pidgeon's best friends hosted the bris for his new son. The bris was at the Park Plaza hotel in Jerusalem, and we got all decked out and headed over right on time. When we got to the hotel, we were faced with a line of cars all trying to get into non existent parking spaces. Pidgeon drove up to the front of the hotel and left me off before he went looking for a parking space. I waited for him outside and listened as angry bris-goers yelled at the hotel security for lack of parking spaces. One woman looked like she was going to have a throw-down with them because she drove all the way from Tel Aviv and didn't want to be late for the main event. Fortunately, Pidgeon found a spot not that far from the hotel, and we made it in time for the cutting. I can't stand when the baby cries at a bris, it really just gets to me. Pidgeon is like me, so we opted to stand in the back and let the other guests watch when the cutting took place. After the bris part, I waited in line to speak with the Grandfather of the baby, who had held him during the bris. I know there is a Jewish, technical term for what role that is during the bris, but having no children and never actively planning a bris, I'm not sure what it as. Anyway, he was giving out Brachot to people, so I decided to wait in line and get one too. Since Pidgeon and I started to date, I've met his numerous times when we went to visit his friends Chanan and Naama. He is a lovely little Yemenite man with the more pleasant of dispositions and this aura of spirituality. I wasn't going to let the opportunity pass by and, when I reminded him of who I was, he was very happy to see me at the bris. The bracha was extremely thoughtful, very powerful and almost made me cry. Pidgeon opted out of the bracha process - it's really just not his thing - but sometimes I think these types of opportunities shouldn't be passed by. Hey - you never know - right?

So, I used to blog under a different name, and sometimes I go back to the old blog to see if people are leaving me any comments. Today, I discovered a comment from a woman who was absolutely offended that I bad mouthed an extremely popular hair stylist from Tel Aviv. She accused me of having "difficult hair" and that is the reason why I got the worst haircut of my entire life. I deleted the comment as it really had no relevance, and because I don't post comments from anonymous writers. Had she left her name, I would have been more than happy to get in touch and explain the story. So folks, if you're reading my blog, drop me a comment once in a while! I'd love to hear what y'all think!

Meanwhile, Pidgeon and I had the best treat today! We went to Aldo and had milkshakes. I've been craving a milkshake now for 2 weeks and we called around and found out that Aldo makes 21 shekel milkshakes. Pidgeon was still meaty from the bris and I was just dairy so I decided to go for it and get myself an Oreo milkshake with skim milk. Pidgeon had an interesting concoction with soy milk. It was bliss people. I highly recommend that, if you need a milkshake in Jerusalem, go to Aldo on Emek Refaim and enjoy!

Well, I'm off to finish working on a press release for one of my clients! Till next time!

Erev Tom from Baka!

Patient Zero

Pidgeon named today's blog entry as it's all about him. This afternoon, Pidgeon had a surgical procedure to remove a lump on his shoulder. We had been calling it his second head  for a few weeks now, and we were both very happy when it was finally taken out.

The morning was very stressful, with the build up and anticipation of the procedure. Pidgeon and I picked up breakfast at Aroma and came back to the house so he could shower. We picked clothing that were buttoned up or zippered so that it would be easy to get in and out of it, and Pidgeon got dressed and ready to go with 30 minutes before the schedule date. I drove us to the hospital and we went to the recovery room where they checked Pidgeon in, took his stats, weighed him, and gave him a gown to change into. We were then escorted to a room where Pidgeon changed and we waited for the surgeon.

All around us, in curtained off areas, were other people recovering for their procedures. The gentelmen right next to us kept moaning, and I was worried that Pidgeon would get nervous from his pain, so I tried to distract him. We talked about the movies and ice cream we bought on Saturday night, in preparation for his recovery, and Pidgeon just laid back and held my hand, and we chatted. The surgeon finally came by and did the final check, looked at the lump, felt around, and then discussed how long the procedure was going to last. Since Pidgeon was only going with a local, no sedation necessary for my guy, he was allowed to keep his shoes on with these blue booties on top. I helped him with his hair net and even joked we should pocket some to take home while preparing food in the kitchen, and before we knew it the nurse came by to get him.

He was a male nurse and said to Pidgeon he was going to be his "Ach" for the day. Ach, in Hebrew, also means brother and Pidgeon remarked that his brother looks totally different from you, but it's nice to have a new one. I gave him a hug and a kiss, and then his new Ach took him away for surgery.

The next 30 minutes were absolutely grueling, and I've never felt this way in my entire life. The anxiety stretched like a band across my chest and I did the best I could to keep my breathing under control. I said my Tehilim, but I couldn't really concentrate after a few perakim, and so I took out Pidgeon's hand held computer and played a few games of Solitare. That didn't calm me down either and so, for 20 minutes, I just stared out of the crack on the curtain by the bed and waited for Pidgeon to come walking back through the door - post-procedure. Every time the doors opened, my heart skipped a beat and I got excited thinking it was him, but when it turned out to be someone else it just made me really scared and sad. I kept imagining that he was awake on the table, and scared and in pain and lonely, and the not knowing what was going on was the hardest part. I would have given away my entire life's savings if the surgeon would have let me in the room during the surgery, just so I could hold his hand. I just wanted to hold his hand.

Meanwhile, the room started to stink as more and more people in recovery were farting away. It was loud and smelly and almost comical if I wasn't so scared about Pidgeon. And finally, in walked the surgeon with Pidgeon's lump - all white and pink and peach - floating in a bottle that will be sent to pathology. A few minutes later, Pidgeon came walking in with a female nurse, and I felt the same way I did when he came to our badeken 5 months ago this past Saturday.  Thrilled that he came for me, love because I care about him so much, and scared shitless that I have this man in my life that I cannot ever imagine losing. 

I helped him get dressed and, after resting for a bit, we walked out together. I drove us back to his folks house and we have been resting ever since. Pidgeon indulged in some comfort food - the ice cream we got at Aldo/Max Brenner's, some chocolates and a big bowl of left over meat and barley soup. We watched Season 2 episodes of Heroes, this great movie with Christian Slater called The Quiet Man and some news. Fortunately, he isn't in any pain yet, but I have a huge bottle of Advil next to the bed just in case something happens in the middle of the night. Here's hoping tomorrow will be a much better and brighter day.

And here's wishing my Pidgeon a Refuah Shelaymah! May he never have to go through something like this every again.