You Pay Now!

Yesterday was take your husband to school day and so Pidgeon woke up bright and early, got dressed, packing a snack and his sketch pad, and we hit the road. We were really lucky that the traffic towards Bar Ilan from Jerusalem wasn't that bad, and we made it just in time for class! We spent the entire day focused on Emerson's Self-Reliance and the conversation about individualism and conformity was pretty interesting. Class went by pretty fast and Pidgeon really liked the topic. Plus, he got in some solid sketch time, which worked well for both of us.

After class, we went over to Schar Limmud to find out where the check was. To backtrack a bit, I am a Minhal Hastudentim student, which means that they pay for my tuition. Last year, by the time I finished up with Minhal Hastudentim, I was owed the full tuition I paid back since the agency now covered me. As soon as I put in my paperwork, I got a check a couple weeks later. This year, with the strike and everything, I paid the initial bill and then worked everything out with Minhal Hastudentim. I had to show them my transcript but one Professor, who taught two of my classes, hadn't gotten around to giving me a grade until November. Nevertheless, about 6 weeks ago, I went to Schar Limmud with the paperwork and we have been checking the mailbox ever since. 

We waited patiently in line and then went inside to meet with the kindest worker Bar Ilan has on staff. I told him that Pidgeon was my Hebrew and we started out meeting. That's when it got all comical. He told me there was a problem with my paperwork. He said that, Minhal Hastudentim last year covered me 111% out of 200% that they can cover for a second degree. He said that the percentage is determined based on hours on campus. Now, since I am only taking 2 courses this year, I am only up to 89% and Minhal Hastudentim were only covering me for 50% and so I actually owe them more money. I was very confused and first started on the percentage issue. He said that 4% is from the Jewish studies requirement. I told him that I was exempt from the second Jewish studies requirement because of my seminary year 12 years ago. He them said that while I am academically not required to take the second Jewish studies course, I still am financially required to. So I was surprised that they would going to charge me to pay for credits on a course that I was told I didn't have to take. That, to me, seemed really lousy for a University to do. Make me pay for not having taken the course? I might as well take the course then if I have to pay for it. It seemed a bit ridiculous to have me pay for something they told me I didn't have to take. So then the nice man told us we had to go to Talam on campus and ask them if I am financially required to pay for something I was academically not required to do. But, I countered, and said that I am 100% covered by Minhal Hastudentim, so should that we covered by them regardless? He told me that the computer showed that I was only covered 50% but he would double check. He walked back with a big folder with the paperwork and took 5 minutes to find my name. And, voila, there it was in black and white. I was covered by them this year 100%. OK great, we said, when can we expect our check. Well, the nice man met with a few of his superiors in the office and came back all smiles and said that of course he has to pay us our money, etc. I was happy that Pidgeon was there to translate because the whole situation was confusing and really made no sense. He checked his computer, frowned, and then told me that there was another small problem. They hadn't charged me for the Shmirah for the year. Basically, each Bar Ilan student has to pay 240 shekel (add 4 shekel to that for bank processing fees) a year for campus security. So, Pidgeon asked if I paid last year, and the man said that I had. I am more than happy to pay the security fee, especially since I think it's a necessary service, so we asked him what we do next. He printed out a 240 shekel bill, told me that I had to pay it by Friday, and then said that the check would be in the mail around March 20th. Believe me, we will be checking, as we can really use that cash back. Now, I decided not to be a pain about this, but if Minhal Hastudentim are covering me 100% this year, and I'm only in school for 89% of the 100%, what happens to the remaining 11%? I'm sure that's more than 240 shekels, couldn't they have deducted that fee from the money the Minhal Hastudentim were giving them? Again, they are giving the school 100% of the money, even though I'm only using 89% of it. When it comes to security though, I decided to just pay it. But, I think someone in the Bar Ilan administration is pocketing my 11%. I hope they buy themselves something pretty with my money.

Side point, but had we not gone and asked about the money status, we never would have known there was a problem. I hate that they do that, and I honestly believe the University does it on purpose. When it comes to money, they will not run to return a cent even if it's not legally there's. Had I not been hyper-vigilant about this, I never would have know about the problem and we would still be waiting for the check that was supposed to be "in the mail" weeks ago! I lost a lot of respect for the Bar Ilan administration yesterday and didn't ask him why no one bothered to tell me about the issue in the first place because, as I've experience dealing with money issues in Israel before,  I know I wouldn't have gotten a satisfactory answer. 

To celebrate sorting out this issue, we decided to grab some lunch at the Aroma off campus. We sat in the outdoor area and had tuna salads and tuna sandwiches and enjoyed the nice Spring like weather. In a few weeks, it will be just so swealtering that I doubt I'll be able to sit outside like that. I'm not looking forward to the really hot weather, although it will be nice to shlep less stuff during the day. After lunch, we decided not to do our Tel Aviv errands, and came back to Jerusalem.

I was supposed to start my Mishloach Manot baking yesterday but, since I woke up at 6:00 a.m., was too wiped to start. Instead, we spent the rest of the afternoon watching some TV, and then when Pidgeon went for a haircut, I made dinner. We had a really nice, relaxing, dinner and then I decided to try to fix my shaytels before Shabbos. With it being Parshat Zachor this weekend, I have not choice but have to get myself to shul on Shabbos day. I like to have options to wear a wig, in case I don't want to wear a hat, so I needed to make sure they were both in decent condition. It was not easy wielding a hot iron and working on my wigs, but it was worth it and they both look really great. I was pleased that I saved a lot of money! It would have cost me 140 shekel each to have someone in Har Nof wash and blow dry my wigs, this way I was able to do it at home for free!

We went to bed fairly early and I was up at 9:00 to call the Dr. I've been dealing with blood test after blood test for the past few months regarding a potential blood clotting issue. I found Dr. Varon, who is apparently "the best" hematologist in Jerusalem, and have been waiting for my test results so I can follow up with him. The results take a month to get and when we finally picked them up on the 9th, I immediately called to speak with him. He told us to fax over the results and then asked me to call him this morning to discuss. At 9:00 am on the dot, I called him and he basically told me that These results cannot be discussed over the telephone, you must come in and meet with me. Not something I wanted to hear, and so I've basically been in a panic all morning. He told us to call him after 3:00 p.m. so he could let us know if he can squeeze us into his schedule. 

Well, I certainly hope he can see us today because now I'm pretty frantic. What could this mean? 

Anyway, I'm going to go and bake a batch of chocolate cakes for Purim now and hope that will easy the tension a bit.  If not, I'm sure the gym later today will make me feel better. 

Yom Tov from Baka!

Everyone's Fat

This is a picture of Pidgeon's snow tree in Baka from last week. You wouldn't know that we had snow last week since the weather these past fews days has been absolutely glorious! We just got back from a Brit in Elazar, which is a small Yishuv in the middle of Efrat (but on the right side if you're coming from Jerusalem) and it was so nice that Pidgeon and I went for a walk in the neighborhood to just take in the view. It's really breathtaking to live on top of a mountain, the view from where we were today was incredible.

But, a recap of the week:

Tuesday

First day of school and I had no trouble popping out of bed at 6:22 a.m. Pidgeon had a final, so he was really nervous, and we both respected each other's private space by getting ready in separate rooms. He dropped me off up the block from the Tachanah in Jerusalem and I literally ran across the bus station and made the 8:00 a.m. bus. It took me an hour and 20 minutes to get to Bar Ilan, and the ride was extremely pleasant. I met my friend Tamara in front of the English department, and we went together to the book store to get what we need from our class. It was so nice to sit in a class again! The conversation was stimulating, the material was intellectual, and for the first time in a really long time, I felt like I was where I needed to be. I'm ready for this semester to begin and end, so I can complete my Masters and feel that sense of accomplishment. I have a ton of reading now for next week but I'm looking forward to it as the material is interesting. After class, I went to Schar Limud to give in my papers that I'm covered as a Minhal Hastudentim student. Well, it turns out that someone in the University decided to add another number to my Teudat Zehut. Just randomly. Added the number 2. Don't know why,  but they refused to give me a reimbursement check until it was taken care of. Meaning, I now have to go to the Dean of Students office to have them correct it in the computer and then come back. And, wouldn't you know it but on Tuesday, Schar Limud is only open from 10:00 a.m. - 2:00 p.m. Well, my Professor was giving me a ride back to Jerusalem, so I certainly wasn't going to miss that in order to run to the other side of campus to the Dean of Students office (which, with my luck, would have likely been closed for the day). I decided instead not to get aggravated, and to call them during the week to figure out the situation.  I met the Professor by his car and the drive back to Jerusalem was great. I did most of the talking, but I was able to get a lot of information regarding my Independent Study course and my thesis. He dropped me off at Binyanai Haumah and I called Pidgeon, who was finishing up work at the office. I decided to walk and meet him part way, and I was feeling so good about the day, that I was practically skipping. The sun was shining and my jacket was open and I had my knapsac on me and I was so happy just being there. It was a good day. And then, I walked past this elderly Babushka looking woman, and she smiled at me and said Kulanu Shemainim which literally means We're All Fat. Well, there went my smile. WTF? I definitely didn't need a weight check, especially since I already know that I've gained a lot of weight. But here's this Grandma Israeli Lady telling me that we're all fat. Well, I didn't let it get me down. In fact, I thought it was really funny. I told Pidgeon when he picked me up and he said that the same woman said the same thing to him a few years ago. I love my husband, he always knows what to say to make me feel better. Well, I hummed the rest of the night and made us dinner and we went to bed very a happy and relaxed.

Wednesday

We could not get out of bed. I was just so happy in my sleep that I ignored my alarm and slept some more. The bookcases we ordered though last month were on their way, and so we had to force ourselves out of bed. The guys came and here I thought they were bringing already assembled bookcases into the apartment. But no, they assemble it all here in the apartment. It was incredible the way they put everything together. And, a few hours later, we had a beautiful shelving unit in our living room. Pidgeon left me to go to the office and do some work, and I spent 5 hours just cleaning and organizing. When Pidgeon came home, our living room was practically transformed into a really nice area. I was proud of my work. I made us a quick dinner of pasta and steak burgers and salad and then we went to bed.

Today

Once again, we coulnd't get out of bed but we had this Brit in Elazar to go to. So, I forced myself out of bed so that Pidgeon would follow my lead and we got dressed. We were in the car and on our way by 9:15 a.m. and we arrived within 20 minutes! We went for a nice walk and then joined the crowd at the Brit. The Mohel was an hour late, and we recognized him immediately because he has been making the rounds. He was the Mohel at our nephew's brit last year, and the Mohel at Pidgeon's best friends son's brit this year, and then again today. The shul was nice but the food was amazing! I haven't had such good Brit food in a while. There were mini pizzas and olive and nut whole grain breads. There were these zatar topped bread too and mini whole grain challah rolls. Then, there was a table to fresh salads, including a pasta salad. The mains were little mini quiches of either corn and mushroom or broccoli, scalloped potatoes and cheese blintzes. Yum! I definitely want to get the name of this caterer because the food was great. Either that, or I was just absolutely starving. No matter. It was yummy!

Well, I'm back in the apartment now and getting ready for Shabbat. We are going away down South for some R&R. We're leaving tonight so we can spend the day tomorrow just relaxing and, if the weather is as nice as we hope it will be, we'll get a chance to take a walk on the beach.

Wishing you all a Shabbat Shalom!

I Predict a Riot!

I caused a scene at my in-laws house this evening, and I'm trying to imagine the reprecussions and it absolutely frightens me. Here's how it all went down. Pidgeon's parents told us last week that they were going to have a shiur in their house in honor of his Grandparents Yahrzeit. We were told that the shiur was to begin at 7:00 p.m.

Fast forward to today, which was an anxiety filled day for pidgeon and I. We had to go to Tel Aviv as it was the last day for me to get covered by Minhal Hastudentim before they closed the budget. Since they paid for my tuition last year, I needed to bring them my transcript and a letter from Bar Ilan stating that I was continuing with courses this year. Because of the strike, it took forever to get what I needed from Bar Ilan and the next thing I know, I'm facing down the barrel of the deadline gun. So, until we met with Minhal Hastudentim and they handed me the paper I needed to get my coverage, I was a big mess. After two hours waiting for Michal, the worker in charge of my case, I was thrilled that she gave me the form for coverage this year. Next, we went upstairs to Misrad HaKlita so I could get a form in order to take free Ulpan in Jerusalem. Turns out, the only way I can do that is if I go to Jerusalem's Misrad HaKlita to get the form. Fortunately, we didn't drive all the way to Tel Aviv for that reason.

Next, we went to Dizengof Center to cash in on a wonderful wedding present we got from our Tel Aviv friends. We went to the Soho store, which I absolutely adore, and for 600 shekel walked away with a retro grabage pail for our bedroom, a set of 4 coffee mugs, a pizza slicer from Oxo, 4 mini Oxo prep bowls, and a chain wine holder (very retro and cool). Afterwards, we stopped by Comicaze for pidgeon's reading pleasure, and walked away with a couple of comics to keep my husband happy this Shabbos. Instead of heading to a Tel Aviv restaurant for lunch, we decided to eat in the food court and were regretting it a few minutes later. After bowls full of chicken and meat hamburgers with rice, pea, and potatos, we went back to the car and drove over to my bank. We had to wait an extra hour for the bank to open so I could go and change my address. I was told the only way to change my address was to go in personally.

Would you know it, but they had already  changed my address since I changed my Teudat Zehut weeks ago. I was pretty furious, especially since my dollar account was mysteriously wiped out as well. We're investigating, but when we got into the car to drive back to Jerusalem I was really down.

Unfortunately, the stress got to me and I ended up picking a fight with pidgeon, which wasn't exactly the highlight of my day. Finally, we got home and I discovered an extremely rude e-mail from pidgeon's sister. Well, that was really upsetting and so I decided to do something about it.

Let me explain how I roll. If I do something wrong, and I apologize, and someone says they forgive me, I expect us to move on. What I don't do, ever, is hold a grudge or tolerate anyone else who does. So, last week, I did something that really upset pidgeon's sister. I apologized. She told me she forgave me. And then I received this e-mail and obviously she didn't forgive me. So, I called her back and she told me that she still was "confused" and "upset" by what happened. So, once again, I apologized to her but I was super upset that she was still pissed at me, especially since I thought all was water under the bridge. Then, she told me that she told EVERYONE in pidgeon's family about "what I did to hurt her" and they also "didn't understand why I would do that". I was really steamed to hear she was bad mouthing me to the family, but I tried to move past.

Pidgeon and I got dressed and raced over to his parents house, only to discover we were early and had gotten the information wrong. Well, we both thought this would be a good opportunity to bond with his parents, especially since they had been in London for a few days with pidgeon's brother and his family. I went to tell his Mother something that is going on with me, medically, and just as I was about to confide in her, she picked up her cell phone and called pidgeon's sister-in-law. Apparently, she was coming in for the weekend for a family simcha, and I felt so snubbed and slighted, that I could barely contain the tears.

I went to pidgeon's bedroom to fill him in on the situation, and told him that I was really upset about the snub and the fact that his sister bad mouthed me to the family. And suddenly, the walls were closing in on me and I couldn't breathe. I needed to get out of there, I needed to get away and try to get my head together. Fortunately, I have the most amazing husband in the world, and he agreed to leave. 

And that's when I accidentally made a scene. You see, his Aunt had arrived and when she saw we were leaving she insisted on knowing why we were going. That's when his Mother caught wind of the fact that we were going, and she wanted to know why. At that point, I thought I was going to pass out from holding in my emotions, but I managed to get out of the house and onto the porch. That's when I ran right into pidgeon's other Aunt and the lecturer. He seemed like a lovely man and I felt terrible that I wasn't going to stay, but didn't say anything to let him know. I didn't want him to feel bad about anything. 

His Mother called from the door and demanded to know why we were leaving. Pidgeon tried to make excuses, but they didn't seem to be buying it. I ran to the car and tried to get into the driver's side, but it was too narrow an opening. I was so desperate to leave, that I pulled open the passenger side door and climbed over the gear shift to get into the driver's seat. Pidgeon joined me a few minutes later and we left. With tears streaming down my face, I  managed to get us back to our apartment and my heart didn't slow down until I was on the phone with my Mother and she was finally calming me down.

I honestly have no idea what to do know. I feel like I've embarressed pidgeon's family and I don't want to see them for a while. I just don't know how to handle being around them anymore. We've only been married for 4 months and already the integration process has hit so many bumps. How do people do this? How do people deal with the new family they've married into?

What should I do now?