Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Invasion of the Borsalino's

We're back in Israel and, as evidenced by the time of this post, I'm horribly jet lagged and have been up since 4:00 a.m. I tried to rouse the Pidgeon for some company, but he was having none of it and is softly snoring away next to me. I'm jealous.
As sad as I am to have left NYC and my family, it's nice to be back in Israel in our apartment. I missed our beds, which is ironic since we're getting new ones this week. It was just so great on the drive back from the airport - we took the 443 - that the view didn't lend itself to tears. Don't worry, they'll be coming!
The flight was an absolutely NIGHTMARE! I hate El Al. I wish I had Guydamak's phone number cause I would call him and beg him to buy the airline and make it user friendly. Our flight was delayed 5 hours!! We should have gotten to Israel at 1:00 p.m. and we didn't land until close to 7:00 p.m. That was pretty crappy.
Meanwhile, we were on the Yeshiva shuttle, and there were so many black hats on the plane that I could have sworn we were mistakenly at a Rosh Yeshiva's funeral and not boarding at JFK. And, with loads of black hats, comes loads of black hat boxes. Many even carried on board more than one. And they are so stupid about loading them up into the overhead compartments. I watched as 4 bocherim tried to get 4 hat boxes from Brooklyn to fit in one tiny compartment. Fortunately, the guy we sat next to wasn't anal about me sometimes sitting in the middle. Otherwise, I would have had to deal with one of those bocherim who freak out if a woman sits in between two men. Regardless of the stench - seriously, no excuse when you're coming from NYC people - I was pretty ill on the plane. I spent majority of the first 2 hours going through my barf bags, which wasn't pretty. I should never have eaten 2 day old spinach salad before the flight. I learned my lesson the hard way! I was stinky, exhausted, dehydrated and crabby when we landed which probably explains why I had a fight with the rudest F^&**g Yeshiva kid in the world.
So, given my puking situation, I had very little energy left when we got to the carousel. We went through the airport and boarder control very quickly (we have the cards and use the machine, which is the best ever!) and were parked at two empty spots before majority of our flight even got through boarder control. Well, all of a sudden, this fat, nasty, smelly jerk of a Yeshiva student, with sweat pouring down his brow and his black hat sitting back on his greasy hair, stepped in front of my cart and decided to wait for his luggage. Well, the obstructed my view. So, I asked him to nicely move away from my spot as I was here first. He ignored me. I asked him again nicely and explained I was there first and that I couldn't see. He told me that when he got here "no one was here and he was there first". Well, that just had me seeing red and I lit into him. I told him that I was already waiting there for 30 minutes, that my cart was literally right there, and who the hell does he think he is? He was having none of that from a head covering, pants wearing woman. Pidgeon came to my defence and also told him that was he was doing was rude. He was nasty back to the Pidgeon and I was just so shocked.
This is what they teach in Yeshiva? To be self-centered, chutzpadik and an complete asshole. He told me that, if I wanted that spot, I should be standing in front of the carousel and not behind the cart. I was floored. Who the hell was this tool?
I pointed to my stomach and said, I'm pregnant, I can't schlep off the conveyer belt.
Well, he said, then I have absolutely no business even standing there to begin with.
The Yeshiva bocher standing next to him then offered to help me with my bags, but Pidgeon interceded and said he was my husband.
I then unleashed a tirade on this black hatted boor. I told him that he should be ashamed of his behavior. I then asked him where he learned, and he said, why does that make a difference?.
And I said, because I wanted to call your Rosh Yeshiva and let him know what type of men learn at his Yeshiva. How they have absolutely no Derech Eretz. The black hatter once again turned his back to me.
I muttered nice to see my Yeshiva tzdaka dollars at work. I still wish I knew where he learned, I would honestly call to speak to the Rosh Yeshiva and tell him what deplorable behavior this guy exibited.
Fortunately, I didn't have to do my own revenge, the Lord was watching. So, Pidgeon and I finally get our bags and we're heading out through Customs to meet Pidgeon's father. Lo and behold, said Yeshiva bocher comes charging through with his bags, and the three of us are practically walking through Customs together. That's when we heard the call from the guards.
Adoni, Atzor!.
Pidgeon's heart drops to his knees. I keep walking, ignoring the men yelling. Finally, the Yeshiva bocher turns and asks if they are speaking to him. They say yes. He responds, in typical fashion,
Ok fine, you can look through my stuff but make it quick because I got to catch a Mincha minyan.
I hope they charged him through the nose.
So anyway, I've been trying to wait to write about the pregnancy, but I just can't anymore. It's such a big part of my life these days that I need to use this forum to just write about what's been going on with me. Fortunately, I told the two readers I'm related to over Chag (hi Daneel and Cousin Neil!) so I can write about it now without offending anyone who found out through the blog as opposed to through me.
We're so excited about this baby, but it has been a very difficult 11 weeks. We go to the Dr. today for a check up and, since I haven't seen him in 3 weeks, I'm hoping that everything is progressing as it should. I'm nervous, but hopeful that everything is okay. I've been feeling like absolutely garbage though for the past 6 weeks and I'm just praying that, with 2 weeks left in my first trimester, I'll start feeling better soon. I've been puking nonstop, felt nauseous more than comfortable, and have a million other pregnancy related symptoms. People tell me that I should be happy, the crappier you feel the better it is for the baby. Somehow, when I had my head down the nasty toilet on the plane yesterday, knowing that information just didn't make things better. I wish I knew what I could do for this awful taste in my mouth too. It's just unbearable.
And, my lord, but do I have a super sense of smell! I have such smell aversions, it's terrible. Last night, Pidgeon sprayed bathroom spray and it almost sent me gagging. He was shocked because I was the one who bought the spray, but I had no idea it smelled so strong and so bad! Last month, he opened a can of tuna two rooms away and I went nuts. I thought he opened like 15 cans, the smell was so bad!
And don't cook meat anywhere near me. I'm not looking forward to Yom Haatzmaut on Wednesday night/Thursday. The Country that BBQ's will have me fighting with the green for 24+hours and we have 2 parties to go to! I might just have to carry lemons with me, so I can break into them and sniff when it gets too bad. The saddest thing is that I usually LOVE meat. I LOVE BBQ! I was so upset that, in the States, I couldn't touch meat at all. One meal of meatloaf, sweet and sour meatballs and mashed potatoes had me puking for hours, so I'm now avoiding it with a ten foot poll. I miss chicken and meat and can't wait for the day when I go from food aversion to no aversion but just eating-everything-in-site. At least I'll get my carnivor instinct back. Well, here's hoping!
With all that aside, we cannot wait for November. P"G, we're having a Thanksgiving baby and I'm just completely overwhelmed. I filled with excitement, fear, self-doubt, you name it! I'm also totally crazy emotionally. Over Shabbos, my 6 year old nephew pointed to my hip and asked me why it looked the way it did (my scrubs that I wore to take a nap were falling down so some skin was showing). I asked him what he meant and he said that it looked like I had another tushy. It was so cute, that I started laughing and crying. And then I just couldn't stop crying. Pidgeon was in the other room and fortunately, he was able to rush over and try to console me. Oh yeah, the weirdest things send me into a complete crying fit.
Phew, I just suddenly got so tired. Maybe I can sleep a few hours before we have to get up and go to the Dr. More about our trip to come, so come back and write! Plus, if you've been where I am right now, please drop me a line! I could use all the support I can get :)
Yom Tov from Jerusalem.

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