Thursday, May 22, 2008

Three chairs and my big ol' butt

I went back to school on Tuesday and was really looking forward to flexing my literary muscles once again. The schelp to school, however, did not really help and for the first time in a while I realized just how hard it is to do the trip. The part getting to Bar Ilan is really not so hard, I get dropped off by Pidgeon a few blocks away from the Tachanah and the walk to the bus is almost downhill for me. The ride itself tends to be relaxing, especially if I get a window seat and can zone out until our stop. Once I get off the bus, however, that's when the real hard work begins. The new bus stop for the 400 from Jerusalem is at the base of this huge ramp which takes walkers over the highway, down a flight of steps, and a few meters away from the Geha gate. This ramp is torture! It is extremely steep, very long and really hard for me to get up. I was huffing and puffing by the time I got to the top and had to hold onto the railing on the steps down to make sure I didn't fall. Once through the gates, I have about a 10 minutes walk to my "classroom" (I use quotes because I'm in one of those dilapidated caravans that literally has holes in the floor and the ceiling is caving in). Even though I missed the 8:20 a.m. bus, the 8:40 a.m. got me in 10 minutes before class. I was able to hit the john, buy two waters and get to class before it started. Class itself was really interesting, we read some more Frederick Douglass autobiography and geared up for the shift to Abraham Cahan's Yekl next week. As the 90 minute class drew to a close, I realized that I needed to go to the bathroom again. And this time, it was extremely urgent. I silent wished that Professor Kramer would wrap it up, but then someone asked a question that he needed to answer in two parts, and there was no way that my bladder would hold.

I turned to my friend and said that I was going to sneak out of the room. I was hoping to be a stealth as possible. I put my notebook into my knapsack and planned to grab my bag and two water bottles as soon as I stood up. I was all ready to make my little escape when I stood, and the entire row of chairs came with me. I hadn't realized that I was stuck inside my chair. I blame it more on the heat and sweating than on my ass actually being too large for the chair. But, I was in one of those rows of chairs that's connected by a bar below, and since no one was sitting next to me, all the chairs lifted with me. And then, gravity took hold, and with the loud CRASH all three chairs fell back to the ground. My water bottles went flying, and rolled across the room. I was mortified. Professor Kramer told me that it was a smooth move and I was in such pain and was so ashamed that, looking down at the ground, I gathered my stuff up as best as I could and apologized a million times before running for the closest bathroom.

I learned many a lessons in that little moment. 

#1) Time to start doing some exercise so that I don't end up with a large butt than belly.
#2) Pregnant women should never, ever, hold it in. It's just not smart
#3) Always sit in a row of seats with someone else. This way, their weight should keep the chairs on the ground the next time I need to stand up

Well, I shelped myself home and was so exhausted from all the walking that I ended up passing out on the couch in the afternoon. I was feeling really lousy from the heat and exercise that we went to bed pretty early.

Yesterday, I spent majority of the day doing some homework for school and just relaxing. I try not to leave the house during the heat of the day, but we did take a really nice long walk at night. We also ended up at Tarantino's on Emek Refaim for dinner. It was pretty good, I got the entrecote salad and some fries. I was so full from dinner, for the first time in weeks, I didn't need a snack before going to bed! Unfortunately, that meant a 5:00 a.m. wake up from starving, rumbling stomach.

I should have just grabbed a cracker and gone back to bed, but I'm really trying not to snack so early in the morning. I decided to log onto the computer and IM with my friends still awake in the States. Most were really shocked by the outcome of this year's American Idol, and since Pidgeon and I have been watching the show, I couldn't help but find out the winner. I then woke Pidgeon up and asked him if he wanted to know who won, but he was adamant that he didn't want to know. I let him go back to sleep since he has to work today, and instead read some articles about the "shocking" finale.

By 7:00 a.m., the hunger pains were just too much for me to deal with and so I grabbed a nectarine and some mini rice cakes. It was perfect! Within minutes of finishing my snacks, I was passed out. I don't even remember Pidgeon leaving for work, that's how fast asleep I was! I managed to grab some shut eye until 11:30 a.m. and, with a renewed energy, was able to tackle the mess that is this apartment. I can't stand clutter, it really gets me anxious. I like a nice, clean, apartment. And, since our cleaning lady only comes every two weeks, I needed to make some order out of this chaos. I managed to wash all the dishes in both sinks, ball the watermellon into two large containers, straighten up the living room, clean up our bedroom and put up the wash before feeling a bit fatigued. Regardless though, I'm insisting that we go for a walk tonight. I need to make sure that next week, when I sit into the chair at school, I don't wedge myself in so much so that I can't get out of it!

Well, I'm off to fold the laundry. Yom Tov from Baka!

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