Monday, March 3, 2008

Fundamentally Stupid

This headline describes what I did to myself today and no, I'm not being self deprecating. I Pepper Sprayed myself this morning. (Cousin Neil, stop laughing, I can hear you 6,000 miles away!) It was, obviously, a complete accident but I still somehow managed to do it. Here's the order of events:

I woke up at 9:30 a.m. and did some writing in bed until 10:20 a.m. I got out of bed, got dressed, davened and ate breakfast until 11:15 a..m. At 11:20, Pidgeon returned from the office and we went upstairs to get ready to go back to our apartment. I went to pack up my bag and, since I have a hand bag and a school bag, realized that I had some items in my school bag that needed to come with me. I took my school bag out of the closet and rooted around for my keys. I found the keys and then my hand closed around my Pepper Spray (which, Pidgeon bought for me after a friend of mine got mugged two blocks away from our apartment in Baka). I figured, why not, and pulled the pepper spray out of the bag and dropped it into my purse. 

At 11:30 a.m. I decided to put my contact lenses in, without washing my hands. Using the same hand that I used to pull the pepper spray out of my bag, I put in both contacts. Almost immediately, my eyes began to burn and water. I tried to ignore it but, as the seconds ticked by, it just got worse and worse until I couldn't see anything! I went to the bathroom and took out the lenses, put in eye drops, and watched as my eyes kept tearing. It was hard to see through the blurred vision. The redness turned my green eyes blue (I kid you not) and I could barely keep the lids open. Pidgeon decided I should call the eye Dr. ASAP, and I just assumed I was having an allergic reaction to the season. 

We left the house and thankfully Pidgeon drove us to Emek Refaim, where he stopped off to look for a school book for me. He went to pick up some coffees at Aroma while I got my eye Dr.'s office on the phone. I told her I thought I was having an allergic reaction to something and that I needed the Dr. to call me back ASAP. When we hung up, I opened my purse looking for a tissue to blot my eyes, when I noticed my pepper spray. Open. Moist. 

Crap. It was then that I realized that I had gotten the pepper spray on my fingers and then, without washing my hands, accidentally transfered it to the contact lenses that I inserted into my eyes.

So fundamentally stupid! Lesson learned. ALWAYS wash hands before putting in contact lenses! What's ironic is that I'm usually so anal about washing my hands. I walk around with bottles of Purelle everywhere and I'm usually so careful. A harsh lesson in laziness was learnt today, and I really hope it never happens again.

Moving on. My Mother called this morning to alert me to this article in New York Times about proving you're a Jew? It brought back some very miserable memories when I went through the same thing with the Jerusalem Rabbinate. A copy of my parents Ketubah and a letter from my American Orthodox Jewish Rabbi saying that both myself and my Mother are Jewish were not enough. I mean, how could they rely on my American letter when they never heard of my American Orthodox Jewish Rabbi (which is ridiculous, since he's actually in the news a lot and is well known). It wasn't until we got to Beit Din, and I stood there and listed all of the Yeshivot I attended did they finally believe me. B"H I went to Michlalah, as saying the name of Rabbi Cooperman was exactly what I  needed to do to prove I'm a Jew. I was so close to telling them I was a descendent of the Rabbi of Munkatz and listing all the other great Chassidim I'm related to, but fortunately I was spared that extra step. I feel for all the Anglos going through this process and my only advice is to take a deep breath and try to get through it. Once they approve you, it's just another notch in the Israeli bureacratic belt that has to be bored until you can move on.

Since I'm having eye issues, we're spending the day close to home so I can relax. Last night, we hit the gym and had a great workout. I did mostly legs and Pidgeon had to hoist me out of the rowing machine since my leg muscles turned to jello. Oh yeah, and I was on the machine for only 10 minutes. I'm am so out of shape, it's not normal. 

We're expecting some unseasonably warm weather this weekend and we're entertaining! Pidgeon's best friend, his wife and their 1 year old baby will P"G sleeping over this Shabbos. I'm excited and, of course, have been thinking about a menu ever since. I figure Wednesday and Thursday will be my shopping and cooking day, which leaves Friday to just get the house ready. We also invite Pidgeon's cousins and their kids, and I'm really looking forward to this house being full of little ones. I hope I make the right foods for them!

Well, I'm off to rest my eyes and wait for the Dr. to call me back. Hope everyone is having a great day! Tomorrow, I'll write about the situation in Gaza, Sderot and Ashkelon. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the latest situation and hope to have something coherent to write about manyana.

In the meantime, Mazal Tov to Daniel and Daniela on their wedding yesterday! I'm so sad we missed it but look forward to the pictures! May you both enjoy marriage as much as we are loving it!

1 comment:

Jack said...

I Pepper Sprayed myself this morning.

Sorry, that made me chuckle.