Monday, February 25, 2008

Four Cinnamon Buns and a Funeral

As I write this, the beginnings of a pressure/eye strain headache is starting to throb. I blame it partially on the lack of sleep I got last night, and this time I can't blame Pidgeon's snoring. I am back to my insomnia days of yore, and it's not fun. We went to the gym after 6:00 p.m. last night, had a really great workout, and that just got me wired for a few hours! Plus, I got it in my head that I needed to watch the Oscars, but since there is no TV in the bedroom I tried desperately to watch what I could online. I tuned into the E! red carpet webcast but everything stopped as soon as the actual awards show started. I ended up passing out at 4:30 a.m. from the sheer frustration of not knowing who won what award. And, of course, I was disappointed with the winners when I awoke this morning. I couldn't believe I lost precious sleep for No Country For Old Men.  What a waste of some good shut eye.

It has been a really nice couple of days, and I'm thrilled that I was able to spend some time with my friends visiting Israel.

The workers were back and trying to fix the problem with our AC/Heating unit. After numerous hours running back and forth, and back and forth, they came to the same conclusion we've known about all along and then they tried to bypass putting in a new cable by jerry rigging a loose wire to serve as the cable. It worked for 30 minutes, until I shut off the unit and plugged in my hand mixer. That's when the AC/Heating unit fuse blew. The thing wasn't even on people. Go figure. I managed to bake my snowdrop brownies though, an amazing recipe I got off of Epicurious for Kiddush on Shabbos. Pidgeon spent the day taking a Government test and, when he got home 7 hours later, was thoroughly exhausted. But, since we made plans with my friends, we rallied and met them on Emek Refaim for dinner at Marvad. The food was great, the company was even better, and we all had a really nice time. Afterwards, we walked the group down to Aldo for some Parve chocolate ice cream, and the Pidgeon and I went back to the apartment to pass out. We had an early morning on Friday, so we knew we had to get to bed early.

We woke up with 30 minutes to get dressed and out the door to the Kotel. The weather was absolutely AMAZING, beautiful sunshine, cloudless blue skies and warm temperatures. We parked in the Rova and then we walked through towards the Kotel. While passing the Rova square, we ran right into Marns and Rachel, who were on their way back from davening. We chatted briefly and made plans for us to visit them at the hotel that night, and then we parted ways. It was nice to run into them and I liked how happy it made me feel. We met Pidgeon's family at the Kotel and watched as his second cousin put Tefillin on for the first time. I went into the woman's section to daven but couldn't get up to the wall as there were two huge groups of women from India (not Jewish) and Ethiopia (Jewish) crowding the area. I was content hanging out in the back and praying. At some point, a woman came by asking for money, and Pidgeon's Aunt declared that it was illegal to panhandle at the Kotel. I gave her money anyway, illegal or not. We emptied out our Tzedaka box that morning and I had the money on me for that very reason. I don't care when they ask me for money - or where for that matter - if I have it, I'm going to give it to them. After davening, we walked back to the car (of Pidgeon practically pushed me to the car as the steps back up from the Kotel are really hard on me since I'm so out of shape) and drove to the breakfast at Shmil's, a breakfast/coffee place on Derech Chevron. The place was pretty cool, actually, and we were all absolutely starving. The food was decent, although I thought the eggs were a bit undercooked for my taste, but since we were so hungry we just wolfed it all down anyway. We hung out with the family some more, and then went back to the apartment to get ready for Shabbos. All of the cooking was already done and so we just got ready, relaxed and went to Pidgeon's parents for the weekend.  I passed on joining Pidgeon and his brother at shul on Friday night in order to read his Mom's current issues of Hello, Harper's Bazaar and Vogue and when they returned we had a really nice dinner. Before I knew it, the time was 9:45 p.m. and we had to rush to get to the hotel to see Marns and crew. We made it there by 10:05 p.m. and stayed for a few minutes. The group decided to play a few rounds of Taboo and since the only game I slay at is Trivia Pursuit's Pop Culture Edition, I took a pass at participating. My friend Jeff was also there, so we caught up a bit and invited him back to Pidgeon's parents house for kiddush the following morning. Exhausted, and feeling a bit queasy from the undercooked eggs at Shmil's, we walked back home so I could rest. 

I was feeling lousy, as Shmil's food had me sick for most of the night, and so I slept through davening. I pulled myself out of bed and got the house ready for our Kiddush guests. Unfortunately, my American friends didn't make it, but Jeff and Pidgeon's cousins joined us. We had a nice time and, since the weather was so nice, decided to push off lunch and take the dog for a nice, long walk. The walk was great and then we took a nap before lunch, which we didn't start until almost 4:00 p.m.! After lunch, we went back to bed, and the next thing we knew Shabbos was over. They go by so fast sometimes! We decided to stay in and not go to any of the parties we were invited to since I was still feeling a bit queasy. We also never heard from my American friends, so I assumed they decided to do a group thing and our presence would  have been inappropriate. Pidgeon and I watched a movie on TV and then we went to bed.

Pidgeon woke up early and ran to a Dr's appointment while I languished in some more sleep. I knew we had a busy day, but didn't want to have to face it so early. I still hadn't heard from Marns, so I just assumed she was busy and didn't try to reach her. Pidgeon returned from his appointment and we came back to the apartment to do some work. I was feeling a little down and so I spent a few hours just watching some TV. I kept thinking about the hotel on Friday night, and how they had all this junk food laid out for the group. There were bags of popcorn and boxes of cinnamon buns. I just kept thinking how eating the cinnamon buns could be the end of me, 4 cinnamon buns and a funeral, and it was a very upsetting thought. 

For those who knew me in 2004, I was diagnosed with condition known as Pseudotumor Cerebri, which is basically a build up of spinal fluid in the brain. The body, for some reason, doesn't drain this extra fluid and so the result is pressure on the brain and optic nerve. If untreated, PTC could lead to blindness and in some extreme cases, death. The Dr.'s say that the condition primarily affects women of childbearing age who are overweight. Yup, that's me, a woman of child bearing age who is overweight. The diagnoses was miserable, and the spinal taps I had to endure were grueling (spinal tap headaches are wicked). Fortunately for me, after diagnoses, I responded extremely well to the medication and lost weight. I was put into remission 6 months after diagnoses and had been in remission for the past 3 years. Until this past week, as a result of the 20 pounds I've put on since our wedding this summer. The pressure headaches are really rough, pushing around my eyes to the point where I think they're going to pop out of my skull. My vision has been off too, and that's the scariest thing, as sometimes I worry about my driving. But, the short term memory loss is perhaps the most frustrating and upsetting aspect of the condition. I asked Pidgeon the same question 3 times on Thursday night, and I honestly didn't remember his answer. With Alzheimer's in my family, and having had to witness my Grandfather dealing with this terrible condition, it takes memory loss to a new level. I'm feeling so much stress now having to lose the weight that I've stopped sleeping. Pidgeon's been really supportive and helpful, and so we agreed to go to the gym after his dentist appointment yesterday. It was the best thing we've done in a long time, as the workout made me feel so much better and helped me face this long road I have ahead of me. I just pray that I'll have the self control to stick to a diet. And, for me, it's no longer about looking good or being attractive. It's about the basic joys of life, because the thought of not being able to watch Pidgeon sleeping, or to see his beautiful smile and watch him do his little goofy dancing, would be my own personal tragedy.

I didn't get much sleep last night and Pidgeon got me up and out of the apartment fairly early. We're spending the morning working, and the afternoon relaxing and getting ready for the week. I have school bright and early tomorrow morning, which I'm looking forward to, and Pidgeon is gearing up for another Final at the end of the week. I can't wait for his tests to be over, hopefully we'll be able to relax a bit and get ready for Purim and our trip to the States this Pesach!

Well, I'm off to do the laundry before we have to hit the road again!

No comments: